The Best for Adler

Before I gave birth I knew I wanted to breastfeed but I wasn’t opposed to the idea of formula. I had talked to many friends and family members before giving birth and I learned that sometimes breastfeeding was’t possible or that babies were happier with formula. People always told me if you can’t breastfeed don’t beat yourself up about it. Easier said then done. I wanted to write a post to get my thoughts out and give some advice.

First off; everything will be ok. The fact that you worried about your child and trying to do the best thing shows that you are a good parent. Secondly, go with your instincts and act on what you think is best for your child. So many people will give you advice, even Doctors and Nurses had general information and suggestions that weren’t working and we had to act on our own. Lastly; be patient. We wanted everything to get better immediately, and just get him better. It took some time and we learned how to read Adler and figure out what was working and what wasn’t.

With that being said, here is our story:

Adler took a few days to get the hang of breastfeeding and for a while we had to supplement with formula so he could get enough food but after two days he was breastfeeding great and we stopped with supplementing. I loved breastfeeding; being able to spend time with Adler and create a special bond was something I loved doing. Like I said in his one month post, he has always been a happy calm baby. He never really cries except when he is hungry and even then it’s more of a whimper than a cry. 

Around week 4 we started to notice something different in him because he seemed very squirmy like he was uncomfortable and spit up a ton. He use to sleep a ton and now it seemed like his tummy was bothering him too much to relax and go to sleep. He still was a very happy baby just uncomfortable and I felt so bad for him. Some of my friends had told me that their kids were fussy for no reason and then as soon as they were switched to formula they were happy and totally fine. Before we tried formula though we wanted to try some other things first.

 We thought it might be reflux so we started giving him medicine. That wasn’t working and we thought he might be allergic to milk because I had allergies when I was little. We decided to try formula and if that didn’t work then we would try soy formula. Formula seemed to work but not completely so we tried soy and that was even worse. So we decided that we wasn’t allergic to dairy. We went back to formula.

Deciding to switch to formula was one of the hardest decisions for me to make. People always said don’t feel like a failure if you can’t breastfeed but I totally felt like a failure. I cried when we decided to switch and I felt like people judged me when they saw me feed with a bottle. This was an issue that I just needed time. 

It’s ok to be sad. Again, it shows that you really care for your child and that you are more ready to be a mom than maybe you realized. I realized that just because I wasn’t breastfeeding Adler didn’t mean I loved him any less and he wasn’t disappointed in me. I missed the bond breastfeeding gave us but I found other ways to create that bond. I would hold him a little longer after feeding to snuggle with him, I would still cradle him while he ate, and I would sing to him. It was a hard thing to do and even though I knew it could be a possibility no matter what anyone said, it was something I needed to work out myself. 

Luckily we were able to go back to giving him breast milk but I can still understand why moms struggle with not being able to breastfeed. 

After talking to one of my friends who is a nurse, we decided to try feeding him the breast milk I have been pumping from a bottle. We thought he might have been eating too fast so we slowed him down. 

This seems to be working and for some reason he seems to be doing better with breast milk. I am very excited about this and hopefully we will be able to stop using pumped breast milk and go back to feeding him the other way.

We hope breast milk will continue to work and that Adler won’t be uncomfortable anymore. 

Adler's Birth Story

I finally got around to posting about Adler's birth. It is kind of long because Dane and I both wrote the story from our point of view so feel free to read one or the other, both, or just look at the pictures. My story is in blue and Dane's is in black.

Jordan had just made a batch of s’more bars and we were watching the Food Network. It was starting to get a little late so we decided to turn in. Jordan asked if I would do the dishes so that they house would be clean if she went into labor. I convinced her they needed to soak.

As I was getting ready for bed I started to feel some tightening/pressure in my abdomen. I had been having Braxon Hicks contractions so I wasn’t sure if it was the real thing. They kept coming and didn’t go away so I decided to time a few. They were pretty far apart so I decided to go to sleep (They weren’t super painful yet). I woke up around 4 am and they were starting to become more and more uncomfortable. I started timing again and they were 10 minutes apart. They started to get closer; 7 minutes then 5 minutes so I decided to quickly jump in the shower. After I got out of the shower my water broke and they were 3 minutes apart so we decided to go to the hospital.

I didn’t know it, but she started having contractions at about 11 that night. She handled them like a champ and didn’t really let on that it was anything. Early the next morning I heard her get up but I didn’t know what for. Apparently her water had broke! She took a shower and continued to endure her contractions at about 10 minutes apart. I woke up at about 5:30 and she told me everything that was going on. Her contractions went from 10 minutes to 5 minutes. Then to about 3.

So I went and did the dishes. ☺

We packed up the car with our bags and Adler’s bag and car seat and took of for the hospital! I was really hoping I’d be able to dramatically speed to the room and proclaim, “My wife is having a baby!” but alas we live about ¼ mile from the hospital and the one traffic light we went through to get there was green. So much for the drama.

We arrived at Mountain View just before 6 am. They checked us in and took a sample to make sure that Jordan’s water did indeed break. They said it totally was and then told Jordan she was at about a 3.

We arrived at the hospital at 6 am and by now they contractions were painful. They took us to a room and I got ready for an exam. My OB gives you the option of getting your cervix checked so I had no idea if I was dilated or not. When I was changing my water broke some more and then they checked me. I was a 3 and 90% effaced and they said he was really low! My water kept leaking out so they tested it to make sure it was amniotic fluid. The contractions were getting more painful. We had taken a hypnobirthing class so I was trying to breath and relax during them but this was proving difficult. They came back and told me my water had broken so they admitted me. My body was shaking like I was cold and they told me that all of the hormones can cause this to happen. It was very annoying because it made relaxing very hard. I endured contractions for 5 hours and  zoned everything out. I felt bad because Dane was trying to talk to me but I couldn’t concentrate on both. I got some pain medication through my IV which helped a little but I was so tired and just wanted to sleep and the pain was starting to get worse so I asked for an epidural. When I first got pregnant I wanted to deliver all natural but I wasn’t opposed to the idea of an epidural– I was just scared of the needle. Every time I told someone that I wanted to go natural they looked at me like I was crazy and basically said “what is wrong with you?” I personally think that if someone wants to go all natural that is amazing and I totally support them. And good for them because I tried and that’s hard work! I got the epidural when I was 6 centimeters dilated. 

By this time her contractions where 2 minutes apart. I’ve never seen her so focused.  She was going through contraction after contraction and handling them like a champ. It was quiet and calm in the room and I almost nodded off it was peaceful in there.  The only thing that was noticeable was her hormones and lack of sleep had resulted in some body quivers. Little did I know it was like Rocky III where she was getting pummeled by Mr. T and she was just enduring it. She finally told me her pain was pretty high and decided to get an epidural. (10:45)

This was another thing that amazed me about her. Jordan is not one for needles. At all. One our first memories together was her getting a shot for strep and she was not  happy or calm camper. But today she simply took some deep breaths, lets herself relax, endured a big contraction right in the middle of the epidural and held completely still and before I knew it she was doing that dreamy eyed, I feel good, half smile and ready to lay down.

I thought I would freak out or cry when I got the epidural but I didn’t. It actually didn’t hurt at all (or my pain was so bad I didn’t care). I had a huge contraction when he was giving me the epidural and all I could think was “don’t move, breath, don’t move, breath.” After I got the epidural I was on top of the world. Epidurals are amazing! I talked more with the nurses and Dane and I felt so happy. I was so tired so I decided to sleep for a while. 

She became much more sociable after this. Actually rolling her eyes at my bad jokes instead of just blocking them out. They checked her again and she had progressed to about a 6 and was feeling very very good. After a Facebook update and some texts she drifted off to sleep. (11:37)

Her contractions began to space out a bit but the nurse came in at 12:45 and said she was at an 8! She said Jordan could go back to sleep for the time being. She tried to fall asleep but her shaking is pretty constant and couldn’t really relax. I tickled her back and tried to get her to relax and that helped some as she is not shaking as much or as constant anymore.

They came back and checked me again about 30 minutes later and I was an 8. For the most part I was dilating at a good pace. My OB was out of town so we had the on call OB Dr. Isebell. He was really nice. My contractions started to slow down and I was still at an 8 when they came back an hour later so they decided to give me some petosin to speed things up. He also broke my water and the nurse told us that I would probably be delivering within the next hour.

The doctor came in and we met him for the first time. Our Dr. Dr. Leavitt is out of town on vacation so this is the first time we have seen Dr. Isebell. He seems nice enough but we don’t have a relationship with him so it’s a little strange.  He measured Jordan again and she was still at an 8. They also popped her sack completely because it was still holding some water. He ordered some petosin to speed things up a little bit. They have steadily increased the petosin over the past hour and she’s still at an 8.

Everything is looking great otherwise and they think he could be here in the next hour! (2:26)

They came back a little before 3 and checked me again. The nurse said I was at a 10 and that it was time to start pushing. Tammie our nurse walked me through how I was going to push and then we started. I ended up pushing for 3 hours and finally he came out. Adler couldn’t get passed my pubic bone. I was so tired and sore and with the epidural I couldn’t tell if I was actually pushing. When I got to the 2 1/2 hour mark they said if he doesn’t come out within the next half hour I would need a c-section. I was NOT going to let that happen so I pushed as hard as I could. They continually monitored Adler because they said babies who hang out in the birth canal for a long time usually start to be in duress but Tammie said Adler was doing great and that really encouraged me. 

At 2:50 they came in and said it was time to start pushing. Tammie our nurse, was great in helping us know what was going on. As each contraction came Jordan would push 3 times at ten counts each. It looked so exhausting and I know Jordan and I both were hoping it would only take a few pushes to make some great progress. They told us that another first baby just pushed for over an hour so not to be too surprised if it took that long. 

Jordan pushed and pushed and was a champion. I couldn’t believe how strong she was and how much determination she had. But even after 2 and a half hours she had a hard time getting Adler past her pubic bone. Dr. Isebell came in and said that if in another half hour Adler wasn’t there, that we would have to do a C-Section. Jordan did NOT want that. She dug somewhere deep and said some of the most desperate prayers ever. She pushed harder than hour 1 and got him past her pubic bone right as Dr. Isebell came in to check on her.

Dr. Isabell came in after the half hour and when he walked in  he was very surprised and pleased with my progress and told me to stop pushing while he got ready. The last few pushes seemed very easy and I knew I was so close to seeing my son. Dane was telling me everything he could see and when Adler finally came out and I heard his little cry I was so overwhelmed with love. Dane started crying and of course I started crying as well. 

They got everything set up. I could see his purple head and lots of black hair crowning. Jordan pushed and pushed and Dr. Isebell helped him through the canal. He did need to snip Jordan a little bit to keep her from tearing but that was ok. At 5:51 Jordan gave one last push and out he came. I saw his scrunched little face and his first gasp of air without the Dr. needing to do anything. I choked up and looked over at Jordan and told her “He’s here! He looks great!”

The Dr. held him up for Jordan and she started crying when she saw him too. They had me cut his cord, which was surprisingly simple, and then they took him to get cleaned up while they patched Jordan back up.

He was here! I was so happy and I couldn't wait to hold him. He was so tiny and so cute. He was 7 lbs. 2 ounces and 21 inches long. I had to get an episiotomy because the doctor said Adler wouldn’t fit so I got stitched up while Adler got checked out then I got to hold him. He kept looking at me and I could’t believe he was mine. I love him so much! 

They kept talking about how incredible and resilient he was because normally babies that undergo that kind of labor are in a lot of stress. But he handled it like a champ, as did his mother. The nurses were talking about how incredible both of them were.  I couldn’t be prouder of both of them.

They gave him to me after they did all the initial tests and clean up and I took him over to give him to Jordan. The little snapshot in my head of that moment is a moment of family I will never forget. Tiny little Adler, with his alien shaped head and curious eyes looking all around with his lovely mommy. It belonged on a cheesy family pamphlet and was a perfect beautiful moment whose splendor and awe in description and photograph will never quite do justice to what I have impressed in my mind.

Adler is now two weeks old and he is perfect! He is still 21 inches long and he now weighs 7 lbs and 9 ounces. Breastfeeding is going well and we are starting to get use to the noises he makes so we don’t freak out at every little sound. I keep telling Dane he is so tiny and I want him to stay small forever but we are excited for what is ahead for our little family. The love we feel for him can’t be described and now I know what everyone is talking about. I love being a mommy. 

A little blurry but this picture is cute!

Like father like son

First stroller ride and he loved it! (and I love my stroller!)

My little super hero

He loves when daddy reads him books

Loving his bassinet 

A family picture

WE'RE PREGNANT!! BABY COMING APRIL 2014

I'm pregnant!! We were so excited when we found out. I am 13 weeks right now and on Monday October 7th I will be 14 weeks! Our baby is due April 8th 2014. 

Dane and I had wanted to get pregnant for a while, we were just waiting for the right time. Our original plan was to start trying in September because I would be in my last semester and we thought it would be a great time. At the end of June we started thinking about getting pregnant sooner. I would be closer to the end of my first trimester and if I got sick this would be very nice. 

We decided to try in July. For some reason I have always had the fear that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant. Well I think I can put to rest all of my fears about being infertile because we got pregnant in the first week! And even before we took a test, somehow I knew I was pregnant. I can't really say how I knew it was just a feeling. 

Waiting to take a pregnancy test was so hard. Especially because I was at my family reunion and I just wanted to share the fact that I might be pregnant with everyone. I was late, but we waited another week just to be sure. I took a pregnancy test on my birthday at my house in Virginia and I filmed mine and Dane's response to looking at the test. I wanted to surprise Dane in a creative way saying I was pregnant but I also wanted to record my reaction to the news so I just decided we would look together. 

Best birthday present ever!

 We couldn't wait to tell my parents and we thought all day how we would do it. After several ideas we decided we would tell them at dinner with these wax straws they give to kids that Courtney usually gets. Dane would challenge Courtney to a design contest and Dane would write out “We’re Pregnant!”

So we get to dinner and Courtney doesn’t get the wax straws! So Dane has to mention to Courtney that he wanted to play with them. He challenged her and she accepted. Dane was so excited to spell everything out that we did it so quickly and Courtney was making this awesome elaborate picture. Dane finished so fast that by the time we made the reveal it was kinda hard to read! But my mom figured it out right away and all my sisters got so excited. Naturally I started crying.

Dane's Original

The Cleaner Version and Courtney's Creation

 Telling Dane’s parents was even trickier. They are serving as mission presidents in the Philippines. Dane was back at his job in Idaho and I was still in Virginia. We tried to group skype but that wasn’t working. So Dane called me on Facetime while he skyped with his parents. He told me to show them what I got for my birthday. I held up the baby clothes but it was so hard for them to see that they couldn’t really tell what was going on. Finally Dane gave them a hint and said “Think Smaller.” The light went off in Dane’s Mom’s head and she got very excited. I cried again! But Dane’s Mom was crying shortly after so at least I wasn’t the only one!

 I have had a pretty smooth pregnancy so far. I have had a little morning sickness at night but it comes and goes so fast and then I feel great again. The hardest thing to get use to is eating so much! I have to eat every two hours pretty much and it's so hard to keep up with that. If I forget to eat I get a little stomach sick but as soon as I eat I am fine! I do crave specific foods but it's nothing out of the ordinary. I crave dishes like Olive Garden Salad or pork burritos from Cafe Rio and of course Chick-fil-a.  I am still in my normal clothes but some things are starting to feel a little tight.

Right now I am 15 weeks! I am starting to see a little tiny bump and it is both exciting and weird to see! You can’t really notice it right now with in my street clothes but I will post a picture of my bump within a week or two.